


Can the archangel of healing heal his own heart?

by j520j



Series: The Good Omens of a Thruple [5]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley Was Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Person Gabriel (Good Omens), M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:53:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25877725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j520j/pseuds/j520j
Summary: "I didn't want to Fall..."
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley/Gabriel (Good Omens), Crowley/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: The Good Omens of a Thruple [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1789120
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

"How was your day, dear?" asked Aziraphale, forking a baked potato on his plate and chewing it with pleasure.

"Good." replied Gabriel, opening a bottle of sparkling water. "I did my jog in the park, then I did the bureaucratic Heaven work, and in the afternoon I went to the studio to make some more photos for a new advertising campaign."

"Wonderful. And how was your day, beloved?” asked the blond, smiling at Crowley.

"Hmm, let's see." he raised his wine glass in thought. “In the morning, I slept. In the afternoon, I watched some movies. Then I slept a little more and came here to have dinner with you guys.”

"So, your day was good, as usual, uh?"

"Tremendous!" laughed the demon, turning his glass and then giving Aziraphale a quick kiss on the lips. He leaned over and also kissed Gabriel. "But the best part is always when the three of us are together."

"Oh, you!" the Principality smiled. But the Archangel looked uncomfortable.

“Sorry, I won't be able to spend the night with you today. I need to advance the paperwork because, next week, Mrs. Fabber wants me to go to the United States with her.”

"What?!" Aziraphale exclaimed, concerned. “What does she think she is doing? Does she intend to take you away from us?!”

"Don't be melodramatic, dear." Gabriel smiled and took the blond's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It's just a job. I'm going to do some photos for Ralph Lauren in Los Angeles and then she's going to introduce me to some people at Warner Studios. She said that there is a good chance that I will be selected to play Superman.”

"Whoa, are you going to appear in a superhero movie?!" Crowley looked interested.

"I don't know, maybe. I need to see if the proposal is appropriate. And if, in the first place, they will accept me.”

"But... but will that mean that you will have to stay away from us?!" Aziraphale clutched the cutlery in his hand as he gestured, restless. “Gabriel, I know you love this modeling job, but don't you think this is keeping you from your family?! I mean, I don't want to be a nuisance to your career, I know you seem to like it, but I think this is... ouch!”

In a sudden movement to make his point clear, the Principality ended up cutting himself with the knife. Crowley's eyes widened and he took the blond's hand.

"You cut yourself." he said, frowning.

"Oh, it was nothing." Aziraphale said, and he turned to the archangel. "But, as I was saying, Gabriel... how long are you gonna stay in Los Angeles?"

“Just one week this time. Like I said, I'm not sure if the Warner deal will work, but if by any chance... if... uh... "

"If by any chance what?"

Gabriel didn't respond, just watched, with an expression of astonishment, Crowley performed a small healing miracle to close the wound on Aziraphale's careless palm.

"There." the demon said, smiling. "Now, how were you saying, Gabe?"

“Uh, nothing. Anyway, I need to work tonight.”

"Well, if there's no other way..." Aziraphale sighed. "At least show up here for breakfast, dear."

.......................................

Aziraphale and Crowley spent the night together, while the archangel advanced his heavenly work in his office. The demon, as he always did after sex, slept almost immediately. But the Principality seemed intrigued by something.

Getting up from the bed, he dressed and decided to pay Gabriel a visit. Most commercial buildings were closed at night, but the archangel always used a miracle to keep the building's doorman from noticing that someone was still inside.

The Principality also used a miracle to enter the office, whose door was locked.

"Aziraphale?" Gabriel was surprised to see him. ”I thought you were already asleep. What happened?"

"Nothing. At least, not with me.” the angel said, sitting at the table next to Gabriel. "I realized that you were restless at dinner today."

"Me? Sorry, it must have been anxiety about my trip. And I always regret it when I spend a night away from you.”

"I think it wasn't just that." Aziraphale leaned over and stroked the archangel's face. “Forgive me, Gabriel. I never wanted to be a hindrance to your work. If you really have to stay in Los Angeles for a few weeks or months, I... well, you know I'm going to be here, right? Work smoothly, I will be waiting for you.”

"Oh, that's not even on my list of concerns." Gabriel took the angel's hand and kissed it. "You know that my real ‘career’ is to make you two happy, this is the main goal of my existence."

"Oh, dear boy!" the Principality smiled, relieved. "But in this case, what was wrong at dinner?"

“There is nothing wrong, Aziraphale. I swear." the archangel said, but after a few moments, he added: "Well, nothing is wrong, but... I remembered something that always puzzled me."

"And what would it be, love?"

“How does Crowley manage to perform healing miracles? Even more so... in an angel? He shouldn't be able to do that.”

"No?" Aziraphale looked surprised. “Well since I met Crowley, he's been able to perform little healing miracles. They aren't as powerful as what an angel is capable of doing, but he is well versed in this art. ”

"This is strange."

"You think? I never stopped to think if that was possible or not. ”

"Hmmm." Gabriel looked away, thoughtful. "Aziraphale, did Crowley ever tell you what his name was when he was an angel?"

The blond looked surprised by that question.

"No, never. I also never asked. ” the Principality waved his hands uneasily. “I imagine that the event of Crowley's Fall must have been traumatic, as was that of all the Fallen angels. I think it would be impolite to ask.”

"But were you never curious to know?"

"For what? What matters is what Crowley is today, innit?”

"Well, yes." the archangel raised an eyebrow and finally nodded. “You're right, what matters is what Crowley is today! If he never told us it's because he doesn't want to tell us and it doesn't matter.”

"Great. Now, back to the subject of your trip, when will it be?”

"Next Thursday. And don't worry, love. Even if I stay in Los Angeles for months, I have special permission from Heaven to use some daily teleportation miracles. ”

“Oh, I don't want you to have a problem blowing your quota of miracles, Gabriel. I think I will survive for a week without you. In fact, without you two. ”

"Um, what do you mean?"

“I talked to Crowley tonight and he wants to go with you. You know how it is, being your manager and everything. ”

"Ah, of course!" the archangel chuckled. "Okay, I hope you will be fine without us for a week, love."

“I think I will have a stack of books to keep me company in the meantime. But, while you're not traveling, how about letting go of this paperwork a bit and coming to bed? ”

“Oh, fine! You won."

..............................................

The day of the trip. Crowley and Gabriel took a flight to Los Angeles at night and arrived in the morning. While the archangel was busy with work, the demon took the opportunity to take a walk around the city, take pictures of celebrities (and then sell them to tabloids), take a dip in the sea and watch some shows. The two met again in the late afternoon, arranging with Mrs. Fabber about the business visits they would make the next day.

The two stayed in a luxury hotel room paid for by Ralph Lauren and made good use of the king size bed.

"Hmmm, I love this city!" Crowley said, stretching and hugging his favorite archangel.

"Well, there is certainly a lot more about films and fashion here than in London."

"Not only that! The city has a great mood! Adventurous, festive, entertaining... erotic! ” he murmured the last word sensually and kissed Gabriel's lips. "How about a fourth round, big guy?"

"Uh... you're going to exhaust me for tomorrow, Crowley."

"Nothing that I can't solve with a little miracle!"

The archangel raised an eyebrow. “I don't remember you having, among your miracles, the power to restore someone else's strength. Even more than an angel. ”

"I have many talents."

"Certainly." Gabriel kissed him, smiling. But for a moment, his smile faded. Crowley noticed this.

"What's it?"

"Nothing, I..." he cleared his throat. "Is nothing."

"Hmmmm, what is bothering you, Gabe?"

"Nothing." angels were terrible at lying. “Well, nothing too serious. I mean, it's not even a nuisance, but... ”

“Now, come on! The three of us have been together long enough not to have any more secrets between us.”

“No... secret? Are you sure?"

"Sure!"

"Um..." the archangel sat on the bed. His austere attitude made the demon worried. "Crowley, I... I've always had this curiosity... and, please, if you're not ok with that, it's okay..."

"Hey, hey, is this so serious?" the redhead frowned. “What is it, Gabe? Shoot.”

Gabriel paused. And then:

"Crowley... who were you before the Fall?"

The serpent's eyes widened. The demon shuddered, uncomfortable, and looked away.

"Why the hell do you want to know that now?!"

"Sorry!" Gabriel hurried to say. "Sorry, I... it's okay, you don't have to tell me!"

The two remained silent for a few more moments.

"No, I may tell." Crowley winced again. "Maybe it's good for you to know... it's good for you both to know."

"Crowley, please!" the archangel stroked his face. “If this brings you pain, then don't tell me. I don't need to know, nor does Aziraphale. What matters to us is what you are today. ”

The demon took a long breath. He took Gabriel's hand and kissed it on his knuckles.

"Do you remember what things were like in Heaven before the war, Gabriel?"

"A little. I confess that it's been so long that it looks like it happened to someone else. And I remember old events, like the birth of Jesus, as if it were yesterday. ” the archangel smiled and sighed. “But I remember that we were a lot more free back then, weren't we? If I remember, we hadn't even received our human bodies. We were focused on finding out who we were and how everything would work. So, I remember that we started receiving functions. Seraphim would take care of managing the galaxies. The archangels would be responsible for the constellations. So... at one point, everything changed. ”

“Yes, we receive our bodies and, with them, desires. Some more desirous of things than others. ”

"Yes, like Samael, who has always been the best and most talented of us, but has Fallen from grace for his pride..." Gabriel shook his head. "Then there was the War, and so many of us Fell... and others just disappeared!"

The two were silent, remembering that sad time. It was the loss of innocence for all of them.

"Do you... do you remember?" Crowley babbled, uncertain. "Do you remember what happened to the archangels?"

“I know that Samael became Lucifer. I know that I, Uriel, Michael and Sandalphon led the divine troops in battle. And I know that Remiel and Raphael were killed in the conflict. ”

Crowley bit his lip hard. His snake fangs appeared for an instant.

"Did you see them being killed?"

"I saw Remiel refusing to pick up a sword, whichever side, and I saw him being destroyed by... by Lucifer..." Gabriel narrowed his eyes in emotion. "It was terrible! Until that moment, I really didn't believe that one of my siblings was capable of that! ”

"And... Raphael?" the demon bit his lip harder, almost breaking the skin.

“I didn't see it, but he must have been killed too. He didn't stay with us, but he must not have Fallen, otherwise today he would be a Duke of Hell. But I know that the current Dukes of Hell were angels Virtues and Powers. ”

"What if he _didn't_ _want_ to be a Duke of Hell?!" Crowley raised his voice, almost shouting. “What if he _didn't want_ any position of responsibility in that dark pit?! What if, from the beginning, he _never wanted to Fall?!_ He only Fell because of a ... of a ...! " he paused, squinting. "... what if he ... didn't want anyone to know who he was?"

Gabriel looked at the redhead with concern, he was shaking.

_No, it can't be..._

_Raphael?!_


	2. Chapter 2

Gabriel didn’t remember much before the War, but he knew that, even after so many changes of vessels, the appearance of the angels didn’t change much. Even within mortal bodies, the expression of their souls appeared externally.

Aziraphale had a gentle, affable and harmless soul. His mortal body was a reflection of that, with his big and beautiful blue eyes, his friendly smile and his rounded shapes for his predilection for the culinary wonders that humanity created with the raw material that God provided.

Gabriel was tall, strong, imposing and charming. A born leader who unites power and charisma. Even Mrs. Fabber realized this when she suggested that he should try a role as Superman - the epitome of the ‘hero’ in modern human mythology. His vessel was the expression of the archangel that was made to lead the affairs of Heaven.

Crowley... actually, Raphael... received a slender body, hands with long, nimble fingers, a stern look that showed wisdom as well as cleverness. The healer who convinces the stubborn old man to take the medicine, the tricky child to be examined, the wounded warrior to clench his teeth and let the doctor do what needs to be done, even if the act of putting the broken bone back in place. Yes, there was always a little dishonest cunning in Raphael's soul when he promised his companions that ‘it wouldn’t hurt’.

When he Fell, what most changed in his appearance were certainly his eyes. They were golden when he was an angel and changed to yellow, with snake pupils. If he was already thin, it got even more, more sinuous. Only now he was no longer the archangel of healing, but a venomous snake - a sad irony of what he was in the past.

However, the powers of an archangel don’t just disappear. Crowley was the only demon whose healing powers were strong enough to heal an angel's wounds. No, he would never be able to put bones back in place with a snap of his fingers, but he could perform useful little miracles.

Gabriel remembered the event when the demon caught him committing self-harm. That day, he was too tense to understand what was going on, but then he remembered Crowley's saliva healing his wounds. A demon shouldn't be able to do that.

But Crowley could, because the essence of healing and caring for others had not entirely disappeared from his soul.

And for the moment, it was his soul that was bleeding.

"Crowley!" Gabriel was kneeling on the bed and watching, with pain in his heart, the redhead shed tears after making that revelation. "Crowley, you... you are...!"

 _"I was!"_ the demon exclaimed, wiping away tears of sadness and anger. “I was, Gabe... I’m not anymore! It doesn't matter anymore either!”

The archangel opened his mouth to speak, but closed it quickly. He embraced Crowley's thin, shaky form. His wings, white with a slight purple hue, enveloped him. The redhead moved inside the embrace, as if he wanted to get away, but ended up giving up. He also hugged Gabriel and buried his wet face on the taller man's shoulder.

The two were embraced on the bed. Los Angeles city lights flowing through the window and illuminating the dark environment, as well as the sound of uninterrupted traffic and music in the distance. After a time that probably was not less than an hour, Crowley said:

"I... I'm fine." the redhead rubbed his eyes. “Don't worry, Gabe, I'm fine now. No matter what happens, I will always be fine as long as I am with you and Aziraphale.”

"No." the archangel shook his head. “It still hurts you. A lot! I can feel."

"No, serious! I ... this is past! I was just moved because... well, the memories came. But I'm really fine, you don't have to worry about me.”

Gabriel frowned, still not entirely convinced.

"Crowley, why did you Fall?"

The redhead winced.

"Uh... sorry." the archangel looked away. "I don't want to hurt you anymore."

“Hey, hey, don't forget that I was once a healer. Sometimes I know that you have to feel the pain to heal the wound, heh.” the demon gave a sad laugh. “I thought it was already healed, but... I don't know. Maybe because it was you asking me this question... because, although I don't remember meeting Aziraphale before my Fall, I do remember you. And sometimes, I wondered if you remembered me.”

“Oh, Crowley! I remember Raphael. I remember the smartest, and also kindest, archangel I have ever known in my entire existence! Now that I'm remembering everything, I was an idiot for not even realizing who you were in the past. It was so clear all the time."

“No, it wasn't clear all the time. From an archangel of healing to a snake is a rather drastic change. ”

"Maybe, but still..." Gabriel looked Crowley in the eye. It was difficult to see Raphael's golden eyes there, but if he tried, he could see the same kind and caring soul that was always there. “Well… thanks for trusting me and telling me that. I'm just sorry that you were sad in the process.”

"It's not your fault." the demon said, looking away. "And about... uh... your other question... why I Fell."

"You don't have to tell me."

"But you want to know, don't you?"

"Not if it causes you pain."

"Well, now I want to tell." Crowley hugged Gabriel again. “You know that... in the beginning... you could Fall very easily, don't you? If you were seen in the company of Lucifer, you could Fall. If you wanted to play too much with the body you had received, you could Fall. What if you... if you asked the wrong questions... uh... "

The archangel said nothing, but hugged the redhead tighter, as if encouraging him to continue.

"I didn't want to Fall..." the demon said, sighing. “But I confess that I also didn't want to be Up There anymore. There were things that were bothering me... things that I started to... question."

“Is that why you Fell? For asking the wrong questions?”

Crowley swallowed before continuing.

“I think it was... it was like a snowball. I was asking questions that began to irritate God just as She was trying to manage the first major crisis in her Great Plan. You know... knocking on the boss' door to ask stupid questions can end up making you lose your job.”

"Crowley." Gabriel pulled back a little so he could look him in the face. "What was the question that made you Fall?"

The demon hesitated for an instant.

“When I saw that Lucifer was gathering the traitors, I... I thought there was still a diplomatic way out for everything. I still thought that something could be done with dialogue. But then... God declared War and suddenly everyone started to take up the sword and kill each other. ”

"No Remiel." Gabriel remembered.

"Ah, Remiel...!" Crowley gave a small tearful sob. “Always the most merciful of all, isn't he? Well... when the War started, and the angels started killing each other, I... I looked at the cut and bloody members... at the Lucifer angels falling towards Hell with their wings on fire... I... I looked at all that... and then I looked UP ... and asked the question I should never have asked... "

As if remembering that moment, the demon looked up.

"Why?"

Gabriel felt a deadly thrill go through his body when he heard that question.

_Why?_

_This was the last question… the one that made Raphael Fall._


End file.
